By Francoise Bonhoure
Article from ezine
Looking around on the net I can see that anger is really an issue for most of us.
So, how do you manage anger? Do you express or repress it?
Anger is a strong energy phenomenon, which, at its lower ebb is sadness. Often when we look at our anger, we'll see that not far behind is sadness and vice versa.
It can be quite confusing as to what to do, it certainly has been for me over the years in my life 'out there'.
Expression of it is very good to do in some therapy groups as one is encouraged for this to happen. One then feels good to have let it hang out in that particular protected space, one feels vibrant with flowing energy and in our power when (near to) full expression has been allowed, but how to handle the stress of anger in our daily life?
Repression is very unsatisfactory as our energy, little by little, gets into a depressed state and one tends to become - or appears to become - numb to events.
I have found that expression is inevitable unless one is a very advanced Buddhist-type 'monk' (or 'nun')!
By 'advanced', I mean that one is able to recycle the energy of anger in the course of the events of one's life, by progressively understanding that energy phenomenon and transforming that energy into...well, simple energy and not staying compulsively 'attached' to the person or circumstances that brought it alive in us!
I can hear some of us thinking, 'But expression will create waves and repercussions!' Yes, it most probably will! And we might feel quite bad for some time after,
regretting to have hurt the other(s), or whatever it may be, and even feeling a fool, quite horrible...
So I can see 3 solutions to this issue:
- Being an 'advanced Buddhist-type 'monk' (or 'nun')
- Expressing how we feel, but not violating the outside world with it - it's OUR anger after all, someone else might have reacted in some other way
- Expressing it on our own by setting up a secluded space, whether in the countryside or a room in our house or flat where we can make noise and not affect other people (we certainly don't want to be judged as a 'loony', this would create more emotions!)
This third solution to how to manage anger requires a bit of organisation, but it is very valuable.
One simply needs one's own space.
Once we have expressed all these very strong emotions in exercises such as 'beating a pillow' or virtually 'punching' (using body movements, but not in the presence of a real person) our 'enemy' or impossibly frustrating circumstances, we feel cleansed of the heaviness and madness.
We are then able to see the incident more clearly and are able either to express our feelings and views without a terrible outburst, as just a clean communication, or simply file it as past.
This may possibly require a few sessions, but it's well worth organising for ourselves as we then have our own solution to how to manage our anger and a 'middle way' choice of answer to the question: 'express it or repress it?'
Francoise Bonhoure is the creator of [http://www.benefits-to-exercise-for-seniors.com]
A trained senior she has established Free and Easy Exercises for over 50's.
Joining the membership Benefits to Exercise Ezine gives you access to Free Videos, Audios Exercise Program for Seniors, regular updates into your email inbox.
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