By Daniel Theyagu
Article from ezine articles
Your ability to manage the anger of others will alleviate you to a higher level of respect as people in your life will see you as a rational and reasonable person and someone whom they can trust.
The 'other people' here refers to anyone who is of importance to you. These people could be your customers, working colleagues, bosses and family members. Just like you these 'other people' also feel angry from time to time. The worst thing you could do to them and to yourself is add fuel to that anger and create animosity that would become difficult to rectify later on. The better alternative is to see what you can do to maintain your inner peace and try to bring the other person to your plain of thought to work things out calmly. This can only occur if you are able to manage the 'other people' anger effectively.
Here are some reasons why other people get angry and what you can do about it:
Customers
If it is your customer, the person may be angry because he or she is feeling frustrated as they are not getting the service or product they were anticipating. Some common causes of this frustration are being put on hold for a long time in the your company's telephone answering system; getting pass from one department to another; inadequate information given thus making the customer call back again and again; miscommunication and contradiction of information given and making the customer feel like a fool. There are other reasons why the customer gets angry and this could be for reasons like: not enough service support; salesperson not having the right knowledge; unable to communicate clearly; trying to sell something the customer is not interested in and having a complicated process for the customer to voice his or her grievance.
An angry customer is hard to manage. Sometimes it takes a long while for the customer to cool down and even then you may have lost the customer forever as he or she might not want to do business with you anymore. When dealing with an angry customer, the first thing you need to do is accept the fact that they are angry at your services and not you. However, you happen to be the channel through which they can communicate their resentment. Listen with an open mind to the customer grievance. Do not show your disinterest as this will only aggravate your situation. Acknowledge the fact that you understand how they feel and back this up by repeating to them what they went through. This will reinforce their belief that you are actually listening and you are aware of the root of the problem. One of the things customers like to see is that you are on their side. After all that is what customer service is all about. This might not solve the problem, but at least you might manage to calm down the customer and able to rationalize things better. Further you managed to keep your own anger in check.
Bosses
Bosses get angry for the same reasons we get angry. They do not get what they want, such as a missed dateline, incompetent behaviour of the subordinate, lack of office discipline and lack of respect. The key to managing the boss's anger is to first identify what is making him or her angry. This might not be easy as you may not be in a position to go and ask him directly. However, when bosses are angry there could be a plausible reason for this. Perhaps you have let him down in your work and cause him extra work to do to rectify your mistake. Or your behaviour wittingly or unwittingly might have caused your boss some form of embarrassment.
The best way to resolve this is to speak to your boss when he is feeling calmer. Find a time where your boss is relatively free to talk to you and make an appointment. Tell him what you feel about him being angry at you. Be prepared to admit that you are wrong if you really are in the wrong. Offer an explanation for the error you made and apologize. The last thing your boss wants is excuses. This way your boss will appreciate and most importantly you could work out an agreement that you are happy with.
Colleagues, Friends and Family
Usually your colleagues, friends and family might feel angry because they may feel that you've let them down or that you have a superiority complex that makes them feel irritated by your action. There is also the possibility that they might be jealous of you or feel that your success is unwarranted and it should have been them. Whatever the reasons the key to handling their anger is maintaining your sense of humility. These people might just want to be angry because they feel that they could make you angry as well. This will give them a slight edge over you. If you have analysed the situation well, you should be able to handle them by telling them how much they mean to you and that you wish that you could resolve the matter amicably. If you stay calm in the sight of their anger, sooner or later they will come down to your level.
Again this might be tougher than you think. But remember, becoming angry is your choice and not anyone else's. If you maintain your inner balance effectively, you will find that you will have a calming effect on the people around you.
Dr Daniel Theyagu is a corporate trainer and seminar leader who has designed and conducted competency-based training for more than 150 organizations. He is based in Singapore and can be reached at dtheyagu@singnet.com.sg
Website: http://www.thinklaterally.com
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