Extension update
By Eileen Krumbach
Published: Saturday, November 5, 2011 1:12 AM CDT
Article from York News-Times
Parents need to teach children positive ways of managing their anger so that they can manage relationships and don’t end up unhappy as adults.
A Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons study in 2000 found that children who had been consistently angry in childhood were more dissatisfied with life at age 30.
Children of different ages and experience have different levels of maturity. A 3-year-old handles anger differently than a teenager. Here are some general tips for parents and caregivers to help children manage their anger:
>> Calm children down by redirecting attention. Calm younger children down by doing something soothing that involves their five senses. For example, take slow deep breaths, run around outside or play with play dough.
The key is to do something else instead of acting out in anger. For older children, communication is important to redirect their anger. Ask how they are feeling and what is the best way to work through the problem.
>> Teach children to respond instead of react. Ask them to stay calm, and walk them through their anger. Acknowledge that angry feelings are normal and everyone has them sometimes.
Empathize with them, but set boundaries such as no physical or verbal aggression. Keep things simple, focusing on the solution. Assure them things will be OK.
>> Guide children in solving problems. Teach them that physical and verbal aggression doesn’t solve anything and makes matters worse.
Ask children about possible solutions and if they can’t think of any, offer a few for them to choose from.
>> Be aware of how you respond to anger. Children see adults as role models, so if children see their parent or caregiver behave aggressively when angry, that is what the child will do.
Try to talk calmly and respectfully instead.
>> Be consistent in parenting. Anger usually is generated when there is a gap between what is expected and what happens in reality.
Draw up consequences for certain behavior and stick to them. By doing this, children feel less insecure because they know what is going to happen, and they’re less likely to act out in anger if they don’t get their own way.
>> Tell children personal stories of triumph over adversity. Tell them how you beat the odds when you thought you could not.
Research shows that these stories give children hope for overcoming difficulties and help children feel more attached to their caregivers.
Learning how to manage anger is a continual process, so remain patient with children as they figure things out.
Article from York News-Times
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